Disappear

How come it can seem as though someone has suddenly vanished into thin air? I mean one day they’re there and the next they’re just gone. No goodbye, no explanation and no apology. We can’t really disappear, can we? We must always be somewhere, wherever that may be.

 I’ve never disappeared on anyone but I have had plenty of experience of others disappearing on me. It’s one of the strangest concepts and no matter how much I think about it, I can’t seem to wrap my head around it or understand what has actually happened.

Someone is there, you’re talking to them and you know that they’re listening. You know that they’re reading your messages and will respond when they can. Even if not physically there with you, sometimes you can feel their presence because you have that reassurance that they’re there.

But then suddenly they’re gone. You’re quick to notice this and make a point of looking for them. You look for them anywhere and everywhere, high and low, left and right…but you find nothing. You didn’t find them so you have nothing to show for all the time and effort you spent looking. It’s as if they’ve disappeared into thin air or fallen off the face of the earth. In fact, it’s almost like they were never there at all.

But we all have to be somewhere at any given time, right? Even though there might be times in our lives when we wish we could disappear, we can’t actually make that come true and we soon realise the harsh truth that we have no choice but to stay and get through the situation we want to escape.

Suddenly disappearing is not a logical concept, so I find it bizarre how some people have managed to master The Disappearing Act. Were they born with that gift so it comes naturally to them or have they simply attended so many magic shows that they’ve picked up techniques and tactics along the way? And when they have disappeared, where do they actually go? Why can’t you find them anywhere? How did they get to be so good at making sure they couldn’t be reached and found? How do they know how long they want to disappear for?

I find this concept bizarre and intriguing simultaneously because I’m not like this at all. I can never seem to disappear when I wish I could. And even if I tried, I’m certain that someone could always find me if they tried to. Other people always know how to reach me but I can’t seem to work out how to reach them. It feels much like a one-way street when it should be two. I feel that I’m at a disadvantage because I’m always faced with difficult situations that I can’t disappear from, while others are able to get the easy way out of everything. How is that fair? How come I’m faced with reality while they’re escaping to some place better?

I understand that if someone chooses to disappear it means they generally don’t want to be found. But how do they make themselves so unreachable that anyone tries would fail?

Love,

Lucy Rebecca x

3 Replies to “Disappear”

  1. Good questions. From my experience there are many reasons that people disappear. Some have to do with deceit or selfishness, but plenty of others have to do with fear of conflict, rejection, or manipulation. Sometimes people believe they have no options. Most of us are trying to get around the block with the least amount of pain but don’t know how to do it without knocking someone else off the sidewalk.

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  2. many people have disappeared on me too. i believe they did because they eventually found me to be needy and suffocating, even though at many times i have sometimes put up with their neediness myself. this tells me that they are selfish. the best thing to do is to kill the need for others and be entirely self reliant.

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