The hardest type of people to figure out are those who have two distinct sides to their personality. I’m not talking about one day they’re happy with us and the next they’re angry about something, because that’s just feeling different emotions and we all do that. I’m talking about those people you come across in your life who are have two completely different sides that it’s impossible to know which one is them – which one they truly are.
I think we can figure other people out quite quickly – more quickly than you might think. Either we warm to them or we don’t, either we want to get to know them further or we have no interest in doing this. There are first impressions for a reason and that’s because we usually get the general idea of who someone is based on how they behave, act and speak when we first meet them. Body language is very telling in this way and we’re quick to pick up on it and connect the dots from there.
But some people are impossible to figure out because they’re not the same person at any given time. By this I mean that they could be opening up to us and are keeping the conversation going (communication is good) but the next day they could have shut down completely and are giving us the cold shoulder. These people may not even realise that they run hot and cold but it’s very noticeable to others who try to engage with them at any given time. With these people, you will notice the difference and changes in personality pretty quickly and it will almost seem like a direct contrast to how they were previously.
It’s incredibly hard to get to know someone who’s like this, let alone try to be in a relationship with them. This is because you never know which side of their personality you’re going to get the next time you speak or see each other. Are they going to be loving and warm or cold and distant? Are they going to be invested in you or withdrawn from the situation? Are they going to tell you their secrets and fears or ignore you completely? There’s no way you can judge how they’re going to be because you don’t know what kind of mood they will be in before you actually find out.
So what do you do when you love someone who’s like this? What happens when you love one side of a person but not the other? What if you love the way they talk to you and how they make you feel generally but you don’t like the way they ignore you and act so distant that it feels like you’ve been left out in the cold and can only look through the windows? Should you really have to brave the cold for them when you feel like they’ve turned their back on you?
Despite all of this, it’s not impossible to fall in love with someone like this and if this happens it can be pretty confusing for you to cope with. The fact that they’re so hot and cold, left and right, up and down, here and there can make for a confusing, flighty and unpredictable relationship. But what should you do after realising this? Should you leave, move on and find someone who can provide you a stable relationship or do you decide to stay and accept that this is how it is with this particular person? How are you supposed to know what the right decision is?
Lucy Rebecca x