How much easier would it be if the world was completely black and white? What if everything could be either one thing or another and as a result all the ‘grey’ area would be removed. I wish things in life were more straightforward and simple. I wish it was impossible for the lines of separation to be blurred, muddled and crossed over. I wish we were given a way to avoid confusion and complication that would benefit us for the rest of our short lives.

I hate uncertainty. It stems from a fear of not knowing what’s going to happen or what is currently happening. I hate not being in control of things in my life, like not knowing where I stand or what something means. I hate not being able to define a situation in order to gain clarity and a better understanding of it all. I hate finding myself in the grey area in so many situations; all I wish is that it would be black and white to save myself the confusion, obscurity and vagueness.

Our lives should be sharp and crystal clear. So clear, in fact, that we should be able to see our reflection staring back at us if we chose to look at it. Imagine if every complex, confused and blurry situation in your life was like a mirror and you were able to stare into the transparency and it be so clearly defined with such precision.

Sometimes you enter a situation and for a second it appears simple and sharp. It’s easy to understand and in that short time you’re able to feel comfortable, content and unworried. It’s the moment where you’re easily able to make sense of the situation and evaluate it fairly, all because you can clearly make out the lines where it starts and ends. Why can’t it continue to be this way? Why does it only last a second before it changes and becomes the complete opposite?

That once seemingly easy and simple situation begins to morph into something else. It changes shape gradually until you can no longer recognise what it is or what it’s supposed to represent. The more it changes, the harder it gets for you to relate to it and as a result it becomes unfamiliar and quite possibly uncomfortable.

Some situations feel like they have no boundaries or limits. You realise that anything could happen and for that reason you need to maintain low or no expectations regarding it. This is because you don’t know where the lines are since none have been drawn, so it just continues for as far as you can see into the distance. There’s no knowing what might happen or where it might end. This is when you start to feel like you’re not in control and you find yourself in the much dreaded and desperately avoided grey area that is also known as the uncertainty of a situation – when you’re neither here nor there. You’re stuck somewhere in the middle and it’s a confused, hazy place where you can’t find your way.

This is why, sometimes, I wish there was only black and white. These grey areas can cause us to feel like we’re out of our depth and therefore we feel a certain loss of control. The ability to define situations to either black or white means you would always have answers, you would always know how to define it and you would always know what to expect. Imagine being so free, unbound and unconfined of the ‘in between’ areas that find it just too so easy to mess with our minds, causing havoc with our thoughts and blinding us of our clarity and judgement. Just for once, I wish I knew what it felt like to experience this because if I did, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t look back.


Lucy Rebecca x

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