Negativity

So you might know this already but I absolutely love blogging, it’s my passion, hobby and my job so I feel that I’m pretty lucky to be doing something I love so much. As much as I love it though, there is one negative side which really annoys me and this post isn’t about me complaining but it’s just an observation that I’ve made since I started blogging for work and something that doesn’t sit well with me. Sorry this is a pretty long post but I wanted to fully explain it before people jump to conclusions.

I write for a website based in New York targeted at women, although mainly in the 17 – 23 age bracket. Being in that age bracket myself makes it easy for me to relate to other young women like me and it definitely helps to know what to write about because I have a good idea of what they want to read.

I’ve been so lucky to get so many followers over the last year or so, currently I’m about to reach 2000 and it just makes me so happy that so many people support me and want to know about what I have to say on the website. It might not seem like much but it means so much when you write something and people take the time to comment on it and/or give you praise and encouragement for your post.

Sometimes it takes a long time to write a post and being the perfectionist I am, I will spend hours thinking of the right words to use and how best to get my message across to the readers. I want to put the best content I’m capable of out there and I don’t feel good about publishing anything until I feel that it’s worthy and of a high standard. So when people comment just to say ‘hey that was a really good post’ or ‘thank you for writing this’ it honestly means so much to me. I’m sure we all like to receive some kind of positive reinforcement for all the hard work that we do every day and the comments, for me, is what gives me that.

And although the majority of people are readers who are supportive and happy to offer praise and appreciation to me via the comments section of each post, there are of course some people who only come to my post to give me hate and bring negativity. It makes me sad because I have my own page on the website where I write all my posts, and it’s kind of like my safe little corner on the internet which is mine and I only want it to be full of positivity and happiness, not just for my benefit but for everyone else who comes across it. I want it to be a really happy and positive space, and I work hard to achieve that each time I write a post on there.

A negative comment from one person might not seem like much, but when you’re super passionate about your job (like I am) and someone is clearly just trying to find a way to attack you, give you hate and make you feel bad about yourself, it can really get to you and make you feel pretty crap for a while. It’s like you know that it’s just one person’s words and opinion and that it shouldn’t effect you, but still harsh words can make you feel even a little bit hurt, especially if it was in regards to something which you spent a lot of time and effort into and genuinely felt proud of what you had produced.

I guess I just don’t understand these people. I don’t understand why they feel like they have to come to a happy, positive place on the internet and try to make it negative and full of hate, anger and aggression. It’s like I’m trying to create my own little happy space for people to get advice from or read about my experiences with things, and yet some people feel they must try to violate that and tear it down. It definitely takes away from that feeling of accomplishment and success that you had prior to their remarks, especially when they take it from hating on your actual post to making it really quite personal by attacking you as a person, even though they don’t actually know you yet they still make assumptions and use these to hurt you through their nasty comments.

And okay so maybe I just don’t have thick skin like I should have if I’m writing online for my work, but just because it’s only a couple of people doesn’t mean it goes unnoticed by me or isn’t hurtful; I do notice and it is hurtful when it becomes a personal attack and introduces cyberbullying into what is supposed to be my own happy, positive place.

Like there is this one person on the website who has consistently given me hate comments and brings general negativity to my posts for over a year now. At first it was them commenting that they disagreed with what I had written, which is fine as I think any writer and/or blogger should encourage people to comment their opinions, even if they don’t agree with you. But her comments have progressively gotten worse with each time and recently she was clearly attacking me and making all kinds of assumptions about me that were really hurtful.

It’s a pretty crap feeling when you’re doing your best to make others feel good about themselves and be encouraging by giving advice, and yet you’re the one that gets all the hate and aggression from people like this. In the last year, not once has she left any positive comments or anything so it’s like every time I see her username in the comments section I just know she’s going to be saying something really awful to me to try make me feel bad about myself and my writing.

It’s like people like her aren’t capable of giving you any kind of praise or positive response for your writing, even if they did like your post or agreed with what you were saying in it. They don’t bother commenting on the ones they did like and only comment on the ones they didn’t, just so it gives them an excuse to attack you and be unnecessarily horrible to you.

I know that every job has a negative side or something unfavourable about it that we have to tolerate, and I guess the hate and online negativity is that for me personally. Of course I still love blogging so much and I would not stop for anything or anyone, and I don’t ever think about stopping because of a few negative people who feel the need to comment and try to make me feel bad too. At the end of the day I know that I put a lot of thought and effort into my writing because I want to help people who follow me and read my writing as much as I can, and I’m still achieving that despite what the few people hating might say.

This might sound weird but if you’re reading this and you have any annoying things or negative aspects about your job, I would really like to know so please comment any that you have experienced personally. I know there are probably way worse things to deal with and mine might not seem like that much of a problem or a big deal but I guess it is to me because I’m really passionate about writing and the content that I produce. Hopefully I’m not alone in feeling like this!

Love,

Lucy Rebecca x

22 Replies to “Negativity”

      1. Believe me you do. I know it’s hard but just ignore the hate. You’re a blessing. Keep doing good and following your passion. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  1. first of all, i think it’s a very important post, and says a lot about the age of the internet and some elements of human nature. it is elequent and very beautifully written, the fact that you’re a perfectionist comes across 😉 the vast majority of your audience loves your writing if not you wouldn’t have 2000 followers. the people who hate will hate and you cannot do anything about it. they would hate shakespear too… they are misrable people. you are better than them, don’t let yourself down by them they don’t deserve your reaction. love your blog. thanks for your beautiful writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much and you’re right about not being able to do anything about it, unfortunately people’s attitudes are out of our control and as much as I would love for everyone who reads my writing to have a positive attitude and a certain open-mindedness, I just have to accept that not everyone will be like this, but that doesn’t mean I should allow it to get to me. Thank you so much for your kind words and support ♥

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a post which narrates clearly, that no matter how much we try there will be dissenters and adversaries.

    Having said that, we all can try to disagree with maturity, by providing a logical explanation for the disagreement to a certain point(s) in the post.

    The Online world will have such issues and where we will find mostly positive and encouraging readers and followers, we, as writers have to deal with such unnecessary situations and continue our writing journey. Have trust in the readers and followers who are appreciative of your work.

    Thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Uhm, i dont have any experience about haters actually, but the thing is, i want to say that hater is an unhappy and unnormal people and they not worth your time and emotional. They just hate you being happy. You are amazing with your post (actually i almoat read every post, but silent, im sorry that i forgot to give any courage), i like them.

    F*ck haters! If they really disagre, they should put argument. They just weird and hate you do something great.

    Fighting *Asian encouragement* Lucy Rebeca 🙂

    Like

  4. Thank you for this post – I’ve always wondered the same, in why certain people go out of their way to leave negative comments. Then I remind myself that it’s their problem not mine, and at the same time I am quite a sensitive person. But at the end of the day, our ability to share our passion with those who do appreciate it makes it all worth it!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s really cheesy, but I try to adhere to that old adage when posting comment replies and tweet replies and stuff like that “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” I’m kinda a social numpty (i.e. tactless?) when it comes to people, but I still don’t get all the deliberate meanies out there.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Someone consistently hating on you is a troll. Likely, this is a person sitting at their shitty job or in their shitty basement, spewing hate because it’s all they can do to feel better about themselves. The one thing I highly doubt, in the case of the person you talked about who has been hating on you for the past year, is that this person is a woman. I would guess that this person is actually a man, probably past middle-age, who spends his time on the internet trying to rile you up and have a laugh at your reaction or at trying to get you to react. He’s attached himself to you because he likes you but knows that you’re not going to give him any more attention than you give to anyone else in your following, so he acts out in an attempt to get more attention from you, to try to stand out from the crowd.

    That concludes this free psychic reading for you. The next one will cost… oh, who am I kidding? The next one will be free too. I mean, I always charge what my reading is worth. 😉

    Anyway, yeah, I fully understand where you’re coming from. I can get a thousand positive comments from people during the day, but it’s the one negative comment that I’ll focus on for a while. If someone is constantly coming at me with negativity, the only thing I can do is learn to ignore them. Basically, if you see a certain username on the screen, you know you can skip that comment because you can’t trust what that person is going to say anyway, so why bother even reading it? Also, if you can’t trust anything that person says, then you can’t trust any negative things that person says about you.

    What you can trust is the many more people who love what you write and who love you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Yes, those type of people usually are fully immersed in negativity that they try to bring everyone else down to their level to make themselves feel better.. Now thats a generalization but i come from a family full of these types. Still love em, l just dont talk to them much.

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  8. I’ve just started blogging as a hobby & thankfully haven’t gotten negative remarks yet. I believe if you can’t say something nice keep your mouth shut, lol. I only wish I could blog as a job, I think? I don’t know as a hobby I don’t have deadlines but I don’t get paid either, lol. Oh well at least as a hobby writing isn’t stressful 🙂 P.S. When you get negative comments like Taylor Swift says “Sake It Off” 🙂

    Like

  9. I think this person is displaying classic jealousy symptoms. I would encourage her to reflect if she wished she had what you have and I assure you the answer would be yes.
    I hate negative comments and honestly I am defensive even if someone disagrees since I put so much hard work into my writing but I try to be mature in handling criticism as much as possible. But if it’s straight out hate there’s no reason to tolerate it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely agree with you! I’m like this myself, definitely guilty of getting defensive when it comes to my views and my writing. I’m very much still learning how to handle this in a better and more mature way – sounds like you have which is great! Thanks for leaving another lovely comment 🙂

      Like

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