So you might know this already but I absolutely love blogging, it’s my passion, hobby and my job so I feel that I’m pretty lucky to be doing something I love so much. As much as I love it though, there is one negative side which really annoys me and this post isn’t about me complaining but it’s just an observation that I’ve made since I started blogging for work and something that doesn’t sit well with me. Sorry this is a pretty long post but I wanted to fully explain it before people jump to conclusions.
I write for a website based in New York targeted at women, although mainly in the 17 – 23 age bracket. Being in that age bracket myself makes it easy for me to relate to other young women like me and it definitely helps to know what to write about because I have a good idea of what they want to read.
I’ve been so lucky to get so many followers over the last year or so, currently I’m about to reach 2000 and it just makes me so happy that so many people support me and want to know about what I have to say on the website. It might not seem like much but it means so much when you write something and people take the time to comment on it and/or give you praise and encouragement for your post.
Sometimes it takes a long time to write a post and being the perfectionist I am, I will spend hours thinking of the right words to use and how best to get my message across to the readers. I want to put the best content I’m capable of out there and I don’t feel good about publishing anything until I feel that it’s worthy and of a high standard. So when people comment just to say ‘hey that was a really good post’ or ‘thank you for writing this’ it honestly means so much to me. I’m sure we all like to receive some kind of positive reinforcement for all the hard work that we do every day and the comments, for me, is what gives me that.
And although the majority of people are readers who are supportive and happy to offer praise and appreciation to me via the comments section of each post, there are of course some people who only come to my post to give me hate and bring negativity. It makes me sad because I have my own page on the website where I write all my posts, and it’s kind of like my safe little corner on the internet which is mine and I only want it to be full of positivity and happiness, not just for my benefit but for everyone else who comes across it. I want it to be a really happy and positive space, and I work hard to achieve that each time I write a post on there.
A negative comment from one person might not seem like much, but when you’re super passionate about your job (like I am) and someone is clearly just trying to find a way to attack you, give you hate and make you feel bad about yourself, it can really get to you and make you feel pretty crap for a while. It’s like you know that it’s just one person’s words and opinion and that it shouldn’t effect you, but still harsh words can make you feel even a little bit hurt, especially if it was in regards to something which you spent a lot of time and effort into and genuinely felt proud of what you had produced.
I guess I just don’t understand these people. I don’t understand why they feel like they have to come to a happy, positive place on the internet and try to make it negative and full of hate, anger and aggression. It’s like I’m trying to create my own little happy space for people to get advice from or read about my experiences with things, and yet some people feel they must try to violate that and tear it down. It definitely takes away from that feeling of accomplishment and success that you had prior to their remarks, especially when they take it from hating on your actual post to making it really quite personal by attacking you as a person, even though they don’t actually know you yet they still make assumptions and use these to hurt you through their nasty comments.
And okay so maybe I just don’t have thick skin like I should have if I’m writing online for my work, but just because it’s only a couple of people doesn’t mean it goes unnoticed by me or isn’t hurtful; I do notice and it is hurtful when it becomes a personal attack and introduces cyberbullying into what is supposed to be my own happy, positive place.
Like there is this one person on the website who has consistently given me hate comments and brings general negativity to my posts for over a year now. At first it was them commenting that they disagreed with what I had written, which is fine as I think any writer and/or blogger should encourage people to comment their opinions, even if they don’t agree with you. But her comments have progressively gotten worse with each time and recently she was clearly attacking me and making all kinds of assumptions about me that were really hurtful.
It’s a pretty crap feeling when you’re doing your best to make others feel good about themselves and be encouraging by giving advice, and yet you’re the one that gets all the hate and aggression from people like this. In the last year, not once has she left any positive comments or anything so it’s like every time I see her username in the comments section I just know she’s going to be saying something really awful to me to try make me feel bad about myself and my writing.
It’s like people like her aren’t capable of giving you any kind of praise or positive response for your writing, even if they did like your post or agreed with what you were saying in it. They don’t bother commenting on the ones they did like and only comment on the ones they didn’t, just so it gives them an excuse to attack you and be unnecessarily horrible to you.
I know that every job has a negative side or something unfavourable about it that we have to tolerate, and I guess the hate and online negativity is that for me personally. Of course I still love blogging so much and I would not stop for anything or anyone, and I don’t ever think about stopping because of a few negative people who feel the need to comment and try to make me feel bad too. At the end of the day I know that I put a lot of thought and effort into my writing because I want to help people who follow me and read my writing as much as I can, and I’m still achieving that despite what the few people hating might say.
This might sound weird but if you’re reading this and you have any annoying things or negative aspects about your job, I would really like to know so please comment any that you have experienced personally. I know there are probably way worse things to deal with and mine might not seem like that much of a problem or a big deal but I guess it is to me because I’m really passionate about writing and the content that I produce. Hopefully I’m not alone in feeling like this!
Lucy Rebecca x