What does it really take to move on? I mean moving on from someone that you’ve got a lot of history with, someone who you came to truly care for and respect and who meant a lot to you. Someone that you used to spend so much time with and over that time, grew close to. I’ve only had a handful of experiences with people who I’ve had this kind of close relationship with, and only a handful of people who I have truly invested my feelings in.
Needless to say, this doesn’t mean it will last or even have a happy ending. Sometimes things take a turn for the worse and sometimes you have no idea how you even got to that place. It wasn’t so long ago that everything was great, was it? How did we get here? How do we get out of this place?
Maybe you’re lucky and things will get better. Maybe you’ll be able to get it back on track and back to a good place where it can continue to grow and flourish. But maybe it has reached a dead end and there is no going back, and all you can do is move on…separately. How do you begin to put everything that happened, and essentially that person, in the past? What happens when you try and fail, time and time again? Are we supposed to have the willpower to keep trying new things until we find something that sticks? This is something that I wish there was a chapter on, perhaps in the Book of Life. I think it would be a best-seller, flying off the shelves in every bookstore.
It’s not the first time I’ve found myself in this place. It’s not the first time I’ve been asking myself this question and I bet you anything it won’t be the last either (such is life, is it not?). But no matter how many times I find myself in this situation, I feel as though I never know how to help myself. I never know what I’m supposed to do or what is the right way forward. The only thing I want is to help myself, of course, but how do you go about doing that when you don’t have a direction?
I have so much trouble when it comes to moving on because I care too much. Maybe that’s my problem. Maybe that’s the difference between it being super difficult (as it is for some people) or rather easy and straightforward (as it is for others). No matter which boat you’re in, though, it’s an inevitable part of life that you’re going to have face at some point…probably at multiple points if we’re being realistic.
I would like to think that in a situation where one can move on but the other can’t (let’s call them person A and person B, respectively), that person A will help person B if they can. This is especially true and necessary in my opinion if both were responsible for the situation at hand and for getting to the place which they’re in now. So when did we stop helping each other? When did it become every person for themselves, or has it always been that way?
When push comes to shove, you may find yourself alone even when someone else was at least partially responsible for you being there in the first place. I understand this isn’t about playing the Blame Game, but it would be rather nice if we could all take responsibility for our own actions and help one another out, especially if we are personally involved and were from the beginning. In reality, some people lack empathy and may not be willing to do anything for you, even if it costs nothing and requires only an hour of their time to do something which will help you hugely.
I’m realising that you can’t always come to expect the best of other people. It turns out that no matter how much time you spend with someone, or how well you know them and vice versa, no matter how much you did for them or invested in them, they may not be there for you at the end of the day. They may not help you when they see you are struggling. They may not take responsibility for their own actions or do the right thing.
It is hard to see the best in someone when they do not give you the signs to do so or keep showing you otherwise, isn’t it? It’s disheartening and disappointing. Personally I feel as though I’m constantly being disappointed by other people, and maybe that’s because I think too highly of them to begin with which leads to expectations that are never met, or maybe I’m completely within my rights in what I ask of others and I’m simply receiving less than I deserve and something that is less than sufficient.
Lucy Rebecca x