I look up at the sky to see a crack running through a tall, sloped building directly in front of me. It’s only a matter of time before it reaches the top and it’s split in two, the first side already coming away from the rest. I turn my back on it and start sprinting as fast as I can away from the collapsing building, not knowing how far it will reach once it crashes below. I’m caught up in the crowd of people running for their lives, and just as I look over my shoulder I see a second building, much smaller this time, also in the midst of collapsing. A deafening sound follows as the first collides with the pavement around the city centre, pieces scattering all around threatening to wipe out those still fleeing for safety.
All I wanted was to be given a chance. We all deserve that even if nothing else, right? A chance for each of us to make someone we truly care about happy. A chance to prove them wrong and show them how different it could be to what they had imagined. A chance to not only show them what happiness can look like, but also to ourselves.
Pull me close
Until my heart starts to pound
Hold me tight
Until together we are bound
You pull me in
Like the tide to the ocean
It must be a sin
How I adore this notion
I’m falling for you
Faster than I ever thought
I’m falling into your arms
I need to be caught
I need your feelings to mirror mine
For our romantic wishes to align
For there to be an obvious sign
That I’m the only one you pine
How ironic it is to have finally met someone of which you feel you can trust (hence leaving your guard down) only to end up getting hurt once again. The thing is, you might start off with your guard up but it slowly starts to come down when you feel safe around a particular person and who gives you no cause for concern or reason to worry. So, naturally, you let that person in because it feels like the right thing to do; you don’t see how it could ever end badly with them.
I don’t think I’ve ever celebrated my birthday more than I have with my 21st. And it’s not just the age that’s a big deal; everyone goes out of their way to make it such a memorable and special day for you. It’s safe to say that there were many surprises waiting for me on the 19th May, many of which completely unexpected but so thoughtful and amazing!
So this is pretty crazy: exactly a year ago today, on 22nd May 2016, I wrote my very first post on LoveLucyRebecca. It was a post about how I was excited for the new year, having just had my birthday and turned 20 three days prior. Now I’ve just celebrated my 21st birthday, and with it has come the realisation that I’ve been writing on my website for exactly a year, to the day!
My birthday is finally here!
I‘m so excited to officially be 21 and to have made it to an age that is such a milestone. I always thought 21 was such an old age (as in, it sounds pretty old when you’re just a kid/teenager) so it’s pretty crazy to think that I’m now that old myself. I guess when you’re young, a part of you thinks that you’ll be young forever and will never reach the older ages like 21 or above. I was like this, anyway. It’s been such a huge and eventful year for me being 20, so I really I hope I have an amazing year to come and have heaps to look forward to!
I know I’m not supposed to be thinking about you. I know I’m not supposed to be wondering what your life is like now, who’s in it or what you’re currently going through. I know I’m not supposed to be thinking about everything that happened, or replaying it all in my head. I’m not supposed to be going over all the events that lead up to this temporary end with you. I’m not supposed to be thinking about how it all affected me and in which ways, but the truth is I can’t help any of it. A part of me is full of curiosity.
Standing at a fork in the road, it can be hard to know what path you should walk down as well as what waits for you at the end. This is it: it’s either all of nothing. Now is the time when you have to decide whether you’re in or out, and you don’t have long to make this decision. So what are you supposed to do for the best?
Someone asked me a question the other day, and I found myself unable to give them an answer. This doesn’t happen very often, as even though I’m shy and introverted most of the time I can usually come up with something to say, even in a difficult situation. But this was different. The question they asked me was one that I had never stopped to think about. Believe me, more often than not I’m over-thinking a situation, considering all the aspects, analysing it by nature and finally, coming to a conclusion or answer. But not this time…not about this.